A Thousand Kisses Deep

Don't matter if the road is long
Don't matter if it's steep
Don't matter if the moon is gone
And the darkness is complete
Don't matter if we lose our way
It's written that we'll meet
At least, that's what I heard you say
A thousand kisses deep

You could say that he was a small-town boy eaten by a big city. Another dreamer who got stuck in a limbo of the cruel reality. A textbook example of an underachiever who could've had it all if he just managed to stay focused and put his mind on the right things. 

And you wouldn't be wrong, not completely. But he was much more. So much... 

He didn't get lost in Paris, oh no. Paris, the city of love, wasn't too big for him, but too small. Too small for his big heart. Though he lacked an endless number of qualities, his heart was always in the right place. And he had integrity. Which is a fatal combination if you want to succeed in this world. Fatal for you, unfortunately... 

So yes, even if he came to Paris from his little Nevermindtown in province to study and achieve big things, he realized soon enough that that wasn't his path. That he would much rather be a working class hero than chasing some career. "Career", he was horrified by the word. There's so much more in life... 

So he was right in the middle. With some ups and downs, like everybody. He loved and he was loved, sometimes even in the same time. He had good friends and somewhat steady job. He wasn't too happy, but he wasn't unhappy. Most of the time. 

A boringly ordinary life. But then he met her. And nothing will be boring nor ordinary ever again..

She wasn't chasing a career either, but somehow she couldn't escape it. She came to Paris with her business diploma, perfect grades and excellent recommendations. La Defense was the next logical step. Even if it was more the path she followed, than the path she chose, she was so good at it. She climbed step over step so confidently, which wasn't easy at all. Especially in a men's world... 

Apart from that, they were very similar. Same taste in music, books, art. Same thirst for knowledge, scientific breakthroughs, history... 

She was also capable of great love, just very unlucky so far. 

It wasn't the job, it wasn't her lack of willingness, it was just wrong guys in the wrong time. Cause timing is essential in love, and not a lot of people realize that. A couple of months sooner or later can make all the difference in the world when it comes to love. 

She never had that perfect storm, and she wasn't expecting that to change when she met him. 

It wasn't love at first sight, there's no such thing. It was love at a couple of dozen sentences (It's a thing, trust me). They were talking about half an hour when he realized that he wants to spend the rest of his life right in the middle of that conversation. 

She wasn't so sure. She was hearing Ornella Vanoni's voice in her head: "Ho sbagliato tante volte ormai che lo so già, che oggi quasi certamente sto sbagliando su di te. Ma una volta in più che cosa può cambiare nella vita mia...". But he was charming, eloquent and somewhat funny, so she gave it a go. 

And she never regretted it. He loved her the best way he knew, and most of the time it was more than enough. In fact, she was never as happy as she was then. But she always had this little "but" hanging around somewhere. 

He was good, very good, but will he ever achieve greatness of any kind? He was almost perfect, she just wanted that one really big gesture. She didn't even knew herself what was she expecting from him, she just knew that he didn't delivered it so far. 

That's why, two weeks after she took the test and it was positive, she still hasn't told him.

And he? Well he was mesmerized from day one.

So here there were, approaching their two years anniversary. And even that they decided to celebrate it one day earlier, in a place they met for the first time, they both had a pretty strong card up their sleeves. 

Come midnight, she was going too tell him that he'll become a father. And he was going to show her 2 tickets for her favorite band (U2), tomorrow in Bercy arena.  

So they were dancing and enjoying themselves, both waiting for midnight. He almost cave and told her when he saw how happy she was when this concert started, but he managed to control himself. 

And she was building the courage to tell him the news that would change their lives forever. By every minute she was more and more sure that he'll finally come trough, and that she made the right choice. 

But suddenly everything stopped. Music and joy in the Bataclan were replaced by gunshots and screams. He took her hand to get out, but the doors closest to them were locked. He saw a little space at the corner near the stage, so he threw her there and himself on top of her, and told her not to move whatever happens. The next moment she felt something warm and sticky on her shoulder and his last breath on her neck. She was too shocked to move, too shocked to cry. And that's probably what saved her. 

The paramedics took her to the hospital and after some tests told her that both she and the baby will be fine. 

He came trough more than she could ever imagine. It was his last gift...

I loved you when you opened
Like a lily to the heat
You see, I'm just another snowman
Standing in the rain and sleet
Who loved you with his frozen love
His second hand physique
With all he is and all he was
A thousand kisses deep

 Dedicated to all hate-crime victims in the world.